soft and tired

I was trying to be a lawyer. I carried a telephone in my hand and it grew heavy in the afternoon. In my first court hearing there was a handcuffed prostitute sitting in one of the seats. I was young and my shoes were unpolished. I looked at the prostitute. My masters took me to McDonalds afterwards. They closed their eyes and said I am tired. They did not see the prostitute. Prostitutes are everywhere. My face was young and they commented on it. I touched my food. We need you to polish your shoes next time. I disappeared in a big car and someone called me. The afternoons were always heavy.

***

One day my mother disappeared. My sisters were very small and they looked at me. My brother played basketball in the afternoon and he was tired. I think you should do something. Anything. We walked to the beach and forgot to bring water. Everyone was thirsty and quiet. My mother came back three days later and buried a talisman made out of human hair and eggshells in the front yard. Your father will come back because of this. My brother screamed at her but no sound came out of his mouth. He was very tired.

***

There was a big flood. I was 7 and I ran away from some children as part of a game. I imagined that they would hurt me if they caught me. They had plastic baseball bats. I jumped into the flood and I did not know how to swim. My mother told me that there were many bad men in the local swimming pool and that they would touch me so I did not want to learn. I did not want to be touched. I held on to a broken table floating in the water. A nail jutting out from the table went through my hand. I wanted to cry but I was too tired. A boat stopped by me and a man asked me to swim towards him. I shook my head and he looked very tired.



Future Story


Something that involves tired people.

inside your mouth shining

I am choosing a birthday present for my little sister. I do not know what to buy and it is making me lose faith in myself.


Some people make you feel like squeezing them until they do something bad to you.

I was on the train and I dared myself to sit next to this stranger two seats behind me and ask him what was playing on his ipod. I thought that it was a good dare because he looked like he could punch me good if he wanted to. I didnt do it because I am chicken shit, but the good thing is it made my hands grow cold and I found out that something like this could scare me because I am so limited.

Some blogs I read give me comforting feelings.

A nightmare I could have: I meet the writer of a blog I like. We meet at a bar or something, and then we talk about ourselves and things we like to eat. I excuse myself and go to the toilet. I look at the mirror in the toilet and say "Shit." I want to ask the blog writer if he/she wants to sit at the nearest bus stop for fifteen minutes in complete silence. But I know he/she will look at me like I am a weird shithead. I want to slap the blog writer. I want to slap the blog writer and then run away saying "Shit. Shit."



Future Story

An old man wants to masturbate with his feet in the sea. He stands in the shore with the waves up to his ankles and begins to unbuckle his pants. A little child runs up to him and says "Hey." The old man says that he will give the child five dollars to go far far away. The child asks him what he is up to. The old man says that he is a scientist and that he needs to conduct a dangerous experiment so the child should go as far away as possible.

The child asks him if he knows any magic tricks since he is a scientist. The old man shows him a tattoo of a fish on his stomach and moves his stomach muscles so that it looks like the fish is swimming on his skin. The child runs away and says "Be careful old man."

The old man is tired so he lies down. He touches the fish and it hurts where he is touching it.