I need vitality.
I should give myself the middle finger.
Future Story
...
Tuesday 17 February 2009
Monday 16 February 2009
hi, i came from the future to tell you that its going to rain tomorrow.
My work will take me to new and strange places this weekend.
I could live a whole week with just a jar of peanut butter.
If we all had wings we wouldnt have global warming and shit like that. Thanks a lot God.
I need to go live in a cave somewhere and emerge full of enlightenment.
I finally wrote an email to estranged sibling and told him I loved him and that everything is okay. It felt good. I want to be nothing but forgiveness. I need to be nothing but forgiveness.
Future Story
A woman is waiting for her train to arrive. She is in a strange town for work purposes. She sees the back of her fathers head in the crowd. She calls out to him, "Dad!" but the back of her fathers head walks away.
She wants to run after him but her train is arriving soon. She cant miss this train because it will make her late for dinner with Roger- who is her fiancee.
If she is late, Roger, who is her fiancee would point out many unnerving things, such as 'how did you know for sure it was your father, why didnt you just call him on his mobile phone, what would he be doing there in a strange town that you only visited for work purposes?
It would be too hard to explain to Roger that it was just her father and he was walking away.
I could live a whole week with just a jar of peanut butter.
If we all had wings we wouldnt have global warming and shit like that. Thanks a lot God.
I need to go live in a cave somewhere and emerge full of enlightenment.
I finally wrote an email to estranged sibling and told him I loved him and that everything is okay. It felt good. I want to be nothing but forgiveness. I need to be nothing but forgiveness.
Future Story
A woman is waiting for her train to arrive. She is in a strange town for work purposes. She sees the back of her fathers head in the crowd. She calls out to him, "Dad!" but the back of her fathers head walks away.
She wants to run after him but her train is arriving soon. She cant miss this train because it will make her late for dinner with Roger- who is her fiancee.
If she is late, Roger, who is her fiancee would point out many unnerving things, such as 'how did you know for sure it was your father, why didnt you just call him on his mobile phone, what would he be doing there in a strange town that you only visited for work purposes?
It would be too hard to explain to Roger that it was just her father and he was walking away.
Friday 13 February 2009
when your face feels like clay, turn your mouth into a flower pot
Everyone should have a stage built into their living room. There should be impromptu performances happening in every house in the world, and you could charge admission or let people in for free when you are feeling lonely. If people listened to me no one would ever feel like killing themselves.
I want to live on a boat one day and drift to wherever. I have to solve my sea-sick problems.
I had mushy peas for tea again today. As a child I hated peas, and whenever my mother included them in her dishes I would hate her a little bit and also feel like I was facing a mild sort of death sentence.
I am growing up, growing growing growing gone.
Future story
A woman eats her neighbors flowers everyday. They pretend not to notice, even though sometimes she forgets herself and stands in the middle of their garden in broad daylight with fistfuls of roses in her hands, inside her cheeks. One day they move away to Florida and this makes her feel very sad. She climbs up to the rooftop of her house and doesnt move for several days.
She finally comes down and finds hundreds of boxes with Florida postmarks. The boxes are filled with pictures of flowers. Behind the pictures there are words like "Wish you were here" and "missing you". She eats the pictures, tearing them up into tiny strips and rolling them into little balls beforehand.
I want to live on a boat one day and drift to wherever. I have to solve my sea-sick problems.
I had mushy peas for tea again today. As a child I hated peas, and whenever my mother included them in her dishes I would hate her a little bit and also feel like I was facing a mild sort of death sentence.
I am growing up, growing growing growing gone.
Future story
A woman eats her neighbors flowers everyday. They pretend not to notice, even though sometimes she forgets herself and stands in the middle of their garden in broad daylight with fistfuls of roses in her hands, inside her cheeks. One day they move away to Florida and this makes her feel very sad. She climbs up to the rooftop of her house and doesnt move for several days.
She finally comes down and finds hundreds of boxes with Florida postmarks. The boxes are filled with pictures of flowers. Behind the pictures there are words like "Wish you were here" and "missing you". She eats the pictures, tearing them up into tiny strips and rolling them into little balls beforehand.
Thursday 12 February 2009
all we need is more robots
Do you sometimes look at you-in-the-past and feel like "oh you poor precious thing!"
?
Sometimes when I am exercising (or, when I exercise, which is some of the time) I feel such an intense affirmation of the fact that my body is a flimsy container. Also, all the people on exercise dvds could use a punch in the face.
I looked at websites to find out how to make a dress, and I then wished I could make everything, beds, beer, puppies, stereos and condoms, just cut out the middle man and my hands will be the only factory I need. The only place that I can write complaint letters to; I will give myself a money back guarantee.
Future Story
A fisherman wins American idol, and his first single is about a mermaid he had sexual relations with. His lawyers find out that the mermaid was in fact an underage diver. The diver is a beautiful blonde boy, and his eyes look like sand at the bottom of the sea. The fisherman begs the blonde underage diver "Please dont ruin my career." He gives the blonde diver a mansion. The blonde diver doesnt say anything because he is mute. He is also a professional ballet dancer. He auditions for So You Think You Can Dance and thinks of mermaids with their tails chopped off as he pirouettes.
Wade Robson says "I love your musicality". Mary says "You are one hot tamale". Nigel gives him a ticket and says "Welcome to Hollywood!". The blonde underage diver says nothing.
?
Sometimes when I am exercising (or, when I exercise, which is some of the time) I feel such an intense affirmation of the fact that my body is a flimsy container. Also, all the people on exercise dvds could use a punch in the face.
I looked at websites to find out how to make a dress, and I then wished I could make everything, beds, beer, puppies, stereos and condoms, just cut out the middle man and my hands will be the only factory I need. The only place that I can write complaint letters to; I will give myself a money back guarantee.
Future Story
A fisherman wins American idol, and his first single is about a mermaid he had sexual relations with. His lawyers find out that the mermaid was in fact an underage diver. The diver is a beautiful blonde boy, and his eyes look like sand at the bottom of the sea. The fisherman begs the blonde underage diver "Please dont ruin my career." He gives the blonde diver a mansion. The blonde diver doesnt say anything because he is mute. He is also a professional ballet dancer. He auditions for So You Think You Can Dance and thinks of mermaids with their tails chopped off as he pirouettes.
Wade Robson says "I love your musicality". Mary says "You are one hot tamale". Nigel gives him a ticket and says "Welcome to Hollywood!". The blonde underage diver says nothing.
Wednesday 11 February 2009
karma is an old granny who wont stop sending weepy postcards to you
Hi!
Reason 17648# I hate getting older:
Less things make you laugh.
I dreamt I was eleven again last night. I dont know if the feeling when I woke up was disappointment, it just felt flat, like old beer. My boyfriends nose bled today and I was a little jealous. I have only had one nosebleed ever, and I remember feeling very happy when it happened. I told everyone and they said "So what!".
My wisdom tooth is killing me every five minutes. I am using a sort of anaesthetic ointment that smells like a dentists spitoon. My quality of life this week is down by 25 percent and I snap at everyone and say mean things on the internet even when I dont really care.
Future Story
A man blogs about something that never happened. His wife reads it and it makes her feel like he has always been someone else. She stops rubbing her feet against his when they are in bed. He notices this and thinks "alright!" because he never liked it when she did that. She moves all her things into the guest room, and he thinks that perhaps this is what happens to all enduring relationships. You dont stay in love, but you are fond enough of each other to share the utility bills forever.
Reason 17648# I hate getting older:
Less things make you laugh.
I dreamt I was eleven again last night. I dont know if the feeling when I woke up was disappointment, it just felt flat, like old beer. My boyfriends nose bled today and I was a little jealous. I have only had one nosebleed ever, and I remember feeling very happy when it happened. I told everyone and they said "So what!".
My wisdom tooth is killing me every five minutes. I am using a sort of anaesthetic ointment that smells like a dentists spitoon. My quality of life this week is down by 25 percent and I snap at everyone and say mean things on the internet even when I dont really care.
Future Story
A man blogs about something that never happened. His wife reads it and it makes her feel like he has always been someone else. She stops rubbing her feet against his when they are in bed. He notices this and thinks "alright!" because he never liked it when she did that. She moves all her things into the guest room, and he thinks that perhaps this is what happens to all enduring relationships. You dont stay in love, but you are fond enough of each other to share the utility bills forever.
Monday 9 February 2009
urgent response required
Im really tired.
Someone has poured candle wax in between my joints. I walk like an emu on ice skates.
Today I realized that my skin is going to age and turn into a mess soon, so I walked through the snow to buy "super duper stupendous miracles inside bottles" stuff. I was kneeling on the floor and I realized that I looked desperate. What am I trying to save anyway, dude?
Future Story
A woman lives inside a big tub of moisturizer. Her cats leave her. A man comes in and smokes and watches her. He says, I think youd make a great movie. They talk about their respective childhoods and she finds out that he had a tough one. They fall in love. He refills her tub of moisturizer every three days with Olay 7-in-One Anti-Ageing Moisturizer because it gets 5 stars from customer reviews in Amazon. She tells him that he will always be enough for her. Sometimes they eat croissants and talk about politics. Both of them love Obama. It is all perfect until he dies and her skin is too young to ever contemplate dying.
Someone has poured candle wax in between my joints. I walk like an emu on ice skates.
Today I realized that my skin is going to age and turn into a mess soon, so I walked through the snow to buy "super duper stupendous miracles inside bottles" stuff. I was kneeling on the floor and I realized that I looked desperate. What am I trying to save anyway, dude?
Future Story
A woman lives inside a big tub of moisturizer. Her cats leave her. A man comes in and smokes and watches her. He says, I think youd make a great movie. They talk about their respective childhoods and she finds out that he had a tough one. They fall in love. He refills her tub of moisturizer every three days with Olay 7-in-One Anti-Ageing Moisturizer because it gets 5 stars from customer reviews in Amazon. She tells him that he will always be enough for her. Sometimes they eat croissants and talk about politics. Both of them love Obama. It is all perfect until he dies and her skin is too young to ever contemplate dying.
Thursday 5 February 2009
There is something wrong with this universe
when my little sister can commit to a blog better than I can.
She is also better than me in many other ways, but this hurts especially because I discovered the internet (before she did). The first time I typed out an email she still couldnt construct proper sentences.
[insert rant about getting old and how it sucks bananas big time here]
I have been good these past few days, writing-wise. Someone should give me a giant cookie.
Future-story 1
I have a katana in between my ribs.
I walk around.
My friends stop talking to me because I make them feel down.
I pretend to be a statue and Japanese tourists take photographs with me.
They make peace signs over my shoulder.
This makes me useful to some people, mostly Japanese ones.
Someone places me on Google maps.
I am famous on some internet forums that are in Japanese.
A bird pees on my shoulder.
This makes me sad.
Tourists start to keep away from me because I make them feel down.
I climb a mountain.
I sing "Aint no mountain high enough" and stuff.
I still have a katana through my chest.
I dont make it to the top of the mountain.
I stay away from myself because I make me feel down.
Exciting stuff happens.
-END-
On another tangent, I met Mark today and he is great.
We are going to make songs together and he is going to draw a picture of a pirate for me.
She is also better than me in many other ways, but this hurts especially because I discovered the internet (before she did). The first time I typed out an email she still couldnt construct proper sentences.
[insert rant about getting old and how it sucks bananas big time here]
I have been good these past few days, writing-wise. Someone should give me a giant cookie.
Future-story 1
I have a katana in between my ribs.
My friends stop talking to me because I make them feel down.
I pretend to be a statue and Japanese tourists take photographs with me.
They make peace signs over my shoulder.
This makes me useful to some people, mostly Japanese ones.
Someone places me on Google maps.
I am famous on some internet forums that are in Japanese.
A bird pees on my shoulder.
This makes me sad.
Tourists start to keep away from me because I make them feel down.
I climb a mountain.
I sing "Aint no mountain high enough" and stuff.
I still have a katana through my chest.
I dont make it to the top of the mountain.
I stay away from myself because I make me feel down.
Exciting stuff happens.
-END-
On another tangent, I met Mark today and he is great.
We are going to make songs together and he is going to draw a picture of a pirate for me.
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