i will chase you down until your mouth opens wide enough.

Id like to say to a stranger "Hi, do you remember me?"


Ive never gone for proper therapy sessions. I was sent to "guidance counsellors" and some of my professors tried fixing me back in my scholastastic days. In my country, people who went to actual certified therapists were basically lepers without the leprosy. Depression was treated in the same vein as crazy. Nobody wanted to know you anymore if you were "getting help", and of course you would bring GREAT SHAME upon your family so it just wasnt an option for me, this therapy thing. When I told my sister that I was probably crazy she asked me what I wanted to do about it. I didnt really know at that point in time, so we let the crazy fester.


Now its grown into an invisible limb that spoons me soup every morning til I choke and smile.



Future Story


A little girl gets too tired to walk to school, she gets tired of walking, period, so she sits down underneath a tree and starts eating her tuna sandwich. The sandwich doesnt have mayonnaise or pickles. She eats the sandwich and wishes she had bought two sandwiches because she is in the mood to eat things. A bird of indeterminate species flies over her head and drops shit on her shoulder. It feels very heavy on her, like someone had slapped her in the face.

i will call you when the sky turns into a sea of milk, and all the babies turn away from their mothers.

My head hurts in a major way at this moment. I feel quite accomplished because I exercised again today. Its like an admission that I like living, that I want to live good. Even if its just on the outside Id like people to see that in me.


I am buying a new chair from ebay. I want something that used to belong to someone and it should smell like coffee and shampoo. No one is selling that right now but my boyfriend found a cream leather chair from the netherlands. It is selling for 0.99 p.

I want to write honestly.



Future Story


A man hugs a statue in the middle of a town. He tells a girl passing by that it is his wife, that his wife is inside the statue. The girl tells him that he should call someone about it. Someone with an axe, with a big machine that can smash things. That will solve your problem, she said.

The girl works in a small office and writes things on a notepad everyday. Today she draws a picture of the statue and the hands of the statue are pointing to itself, like "why me?".

hi jesus! whats up.

I woke up at 430 in the afternoon today.

I went through Facebook and found nothing that could keep me there. My friends do new things and everyday things and I think "youre still alive, and this is good. but I do not want to confirm this every five minutes. i still love you, forgive me."

I am getting a new laptop next week and it is a Great Event.


Future Story

A father carves a hole in his daughters chest so that she can breathe underwater. She jumps into the sea and she waves goodbye. They do not make long speeches. He is moving to another town because of his job as a software engineer. He also plays the saxophone.

Sometimes he watches videos of the deep sea on Youtube and thinks of his daughter living there with sharks and stinging jellyfish. He pictures her punching the sharks on the nose because she is a tough cookie. He sees her swimming like a drunk motorist and shouting at whales to get out of her way.

He screams I love you! into the sink every night after he brushes his teeth.

remember to inhale

Farming holes.

constant sand.

exponential stray love.

we burn into bombs.







Future Story


A dead body is found under a bed. The dead body is happy to be found. Owner of said bed says "you must belong to someone". They both nod. They play monopoly and bingo for awhile. A wife comes into the room and asks the dead body if it would like some pot noodle. "Only if its the spicy kind." says the dead body.