I am choosing a birthday present for my little sister. I do not know what to buy and it is making me lose faith in myself.
Some people make you feel like squeezing them until they do something bad to you.
I was on the train and I dared myself to sit next to this stranger two seats behind me and ask him what was playing on his ipod. I thought that it was a good dare because he looked like he could punch me good if he wanted to. I didnt do it because I am chicken shit, but the good thing is it made my hands grow cold and I found out that something like this could scare me because I am so limited.
Some blogs I read give me comforting feelings.
A nightmare I could have: I meet the writer of a blog I like. We meet at a bar or something, and then we talk about ourselves and things we like to eat. I excuse myself and go to the toilet. I look at the mirror in the toilet and say "Shit." I want to ask the blog writer if he/she wants to sit at the nearest bus stop for fifteen minutes in complete silence. But I know he/she will look at me like I am a weird shithead. I want to slap the blog writer. I want to slap the blog writer and then run away saying "Shit. Shit."
Future Story
An old man wants to masturbate with his feet in the sea. He stands in the shore with the waves up to his ankles and begins to unbuckle his pants. A little child runs up to him and says "Hey." The old man says that he will give the child five dollars to go far far away. The child asks him what he is up to. The old man says that he is a scientist and that he needs to conduct a dangerous experiment so the child should go as far away as possible.
The child asks him if he knows any magic tricks since he is a scientist. The old man shows him a tattoo of a fish on his stomach and moves his stomach muscles so that it looks like the fish is swimming on his skin. The child runs away and says "Be careful old man."
The old man is tired so he lies down. He touches the fish and it hurts where he is touching it.
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8 comments:
ryan manning:
I have decided that I will write a story about you.*
future story: ryan manning
i build a tunnel and it is a good tunnel. it has many passageways like a professional tunnel. some animals hear about my tunnel and start using it.
they find many dead ends. some of the animals are bitter and they say
'whoever made this tunnel is an asshole.'
the other animals are optimistic and they say 'hey, relax.' they tell the shit-talking animals to stop shit-talking.
they use their paws to dig through the dead ends. soon there are no dead ends
in my tunnel. this is a triumph for the animals and myself.
this tunnel is also good because it connects my kitchen to your living room.
you smell burning things when you are watching things happen on your television.
everyday i hope that cars crash on your television. one day i think about a big truck exploding on your television and accidentally cut myself while i am in my kitchen.
this makes me feel like an asshole.
i abandon my original plan of
using the tunnel to come into your living room when you are not there.
i abandon my original plan of bursting into tears in the middle of your living room because i will sense that what i have done is something wrong and
nobody will see it like i do.
*there will never be an actual story. i am not able to write actual stories because that is a job for people who finish things and achieve something.
uh oh! this post and this retort are great. and better in tandem.
Deer Zara-bean,
plz marry me,
k, thx, bye!
Cara - SO TOTALLY WOULD.
update: Duncan says he approves. I think he doesnt understand that this is not a three-person solution.
Zara-bean,
I'm afraid he'd be disappointed. It'd only be a three person solution if the third person were my incredibly hot chem teacher. I am depressed because my final is tomorrow and I wont get to stare at her no more. :(
Am I unable to comment on your myspace or am I insane. This is an either or question.
Cara-bee
I tried explaining the situation to him but he just covered his ears and went "la la la la la". I think the internets calls this "denial". Not sure.
I dont know why you cant comment (?). I will try looking into this situation. Plus, this hot chem teacher, to quote Cryan "its useless without pics."
Ahem.
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