all we need is more robots

Do you sometimes look at you-in-the-past and feel like "oh you poor precious thing!"

?


Sometimes when I am exercising (or, when I exercise, which is some of the time) I feel such an intense affirmation of the fact that my body is a flimsy container. Also, all the people on exercise dvds could use a punch in the face.

I looked at websites to find out how to make a dress, and I then wished I could make everything, beds, beer, puppies, stereos and condoms, just cut out the middle man and my hands will be the only factory I need. The only place that I can write complaint letters to; I will give myself a money back guarantee.


Future Story


A fisherman wins American idol, and his first single is about a mermaid he had sexual relations with. His lawyers find out that the mermaid was in fact an underage diver. The diver is a beautiful blonde boy, and his eyes look like sand at the bottom of the sea. The fisherman begs the blonde underage diver "Please dont ruin my career." He gives the blonde diver a mansion. The blonde diver doesnt say anything because he is mute. He is also a professional ballet dancer. He auditions for So You Think You Can Dance and thinks of mermaids with their tails chopped off as he pirouettes.

Wade Robson says "I love your musicality". Mary says "You are one hot tamale". Nigel gives him a ticket and says "Welcome to Hollywood!". The blonde underage diver says nothing.